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I Know What You Did Last Summer…While Flying On Duty

February 9, 2011 by corporateshopaholic

I wrote earlier about corruption in procurement, and quite frankly this happens in just about any profession you can possibly imagine.  I really don’t get why people would find screwing up their entire careers such an easy decision.  Maybe everyone think they can outsmart others, and that no one would ever find out.  Come on, really?  Personal egos sometimes are just too compelling to overcome.

A whole team of Hong Kong based flight attendants were caught smuggling cigarettes through the Heathrow airport, without declaration of course.  Apparently it is not uncommon for flight attendants to pack a few cartons of cigarettes in their luggage and then release them to the dealers in Chinatown for a handsome profit.  We used to hear crew members buying Louis Vuitton bags in Paris for the Chinese and Japanese dealers at home, and it seems that there are now tighter restrictions on that.  Aside from obvious customs regulations, airlines have strict policies prohibiting their staff from taking airline properties from the plane and carrying illegal items on duty.  Yet, since crew bags are seldom checked at customs especially when they are in uniform, you won’t be surprised to find crew luggage filled with champagne and other spirits taken from the plane.

Again, the consequences of such actions could mean prosecution as well as termination of employment.  The team of flight attendants were detained by London authorities, and the airline offered little assistance in legal representation or logistics support.  All of them were fined and banned from ever entering United Kingdom again.  Needless to say, they were fired by the airline with immediate effect, and there should be little chance of any of them ever re-joining the inflight servicing industry, across the globe.

Is it worth it? I don’t need to interview the crew members to know the answer.  Are they evil people?  I don’t think so at all.  We are all normal people and we are all greedy in different ways.  However, we have to keep in mind that certain seemingly harmless decisions actually have detrimental effects on our lives.

But then we still hear about senior government officials scamming the authorities on housing allowances, education subsidies for their children, and tax evasions.  There must be a secret community out there for people to swap wicked ideas like that, in every workplace.  For those who have little willpower, choose your friends wisely!

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Self-Mockery (Part Two)

February 8, 2011 by corporateshopaholic

There are definitely monkeys in my workplaces over my many years in the profession.   The worst thing is not with the monkeys who may be genuinely inexperienced, but with their lazy bosses who won’t move out of their desks and offices to face the customers.

So, maybe I should label them as zookeepers from now on?

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The 20 Habits That Hold You Back From The Top – by Marshall Goldsmith

February 7, 2011 by corporateshopaholic

In Marshall Goldsmith’s book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There“, the renowned executive coach writes about how the very characteristic that you believe got you where you are, may exactly be the one that is holding you back.

On the back cover of the book, it writes: “Your hard work is paying off.  You are doing well in your field.  But there is something standing between you and the next level of achievement.  That something may just be one of your own annoying habits.  Perhaps one small flaw – a behavior you barely even recognize – is the only thing that’s keeping you from where you want to be. “

“The Harvard Business Review asked Goldsmith, “What is the most common problem faced by the executives that you coach?”…he answers this question by discussing not only the key beliefs of successful leaders, but also the behaviors that hold them back…. Say, for example, you have an extremely loyal and talented staff.  You are known for spotting and nurturing talent.  Your inner circle of employees regularly gets assigned the plum projects.  You may think you are building a solid team, but from the outside looking in, you are encouraging sucking up.  You are guilty of Habit # 14: Playing favorites.  Goldsmith outlines twenty such habits commonly found in the corporate environment and provides a systematic approach to helping you achieve a positive change in behavior.”

The so-called 20 habits are the most common flaws, but they are not flaws of skills, intelligence or personality.  They are challenges of interpersonal behavior, often leadership behavior.

  1. Winning too much:  The need to win at all costs and in all situations – when it matters, when it doesn’t, and when it’s totally beside the point.
  2. Adding too much value:  The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
  3. Passing judgement:  The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
  4. Making destructive comments:  The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
  5. Starting with “No,” “But,” or “However”:  The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, “I’m right.  You’re wrong.”
  6. Telling the world how smart we are:  The need to show people we’re smarter than we think we are.
  7. Speaking when angry:  Using emotional volatility as a management tool.
  8. Negativity, or “Let me explain why they won’t work”:  The need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren’t asked.
  9. Withholding information:  The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.
  10. Failure to give proper recognition:  The inability to praise and reward.
  11. Claiming credit that we don’t deserve:  The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
  12. Making excuses:  The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
  13. Clinging to the past:  The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.
  14. Playing favorites:  Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
  15. Refusing to express regret:  The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.
  16. Not listening:  The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
  17. Failing to express gratitude:  The most basic form of bad manners.
  18. Punishing the messenger:  The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
  19. Passing the buck:  The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
  20. An excessive need to be “me”:  Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they’re who we are.

If any of the above sends a chill up your spine when you read it, good.  It’s better realizing it than never.  If you are doubting Mr. Goldsmith’s observations, you may want to know he has been the personal coach of corporate CEOs including American Express, Boeing, GlaxoSmithKline, U.S. Army, Sun Microsystems, GE, Goldman Sachs, etc..  His credibility is second to none.

I seriously recommend this book to everyone who want to be more successful from where they already are.  Learn from Marshall Goldsmith, and learn from the corporate world’s biggest CEOs.

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Attractiveness Defined

February 6, 2011 by corporateshopaholic

It is always so easy to look at the flaws of another person and I find it so rare that people are eager to compliment or acknowledge another person’s positive qualities.  I don’t know whether it is the lack of security that leads to so many people finding the comfort of self-reassurance through pointing at others’ miseries.   The most obvious victim is a person’s outlook.  Undoubtedly life isn’t fair, and we all love gawking at good-looking people and the immense hotness they carry.  However judging a book by its covers can mean lost opportunities for good relationship materials.  Sure it takes time to get to know a person better, but what’s with the rush?  Does it really hurt our ego that much to be seen hanging out with seemingly less attractive people?

So if I ask you what sort of qualities you look for in your lover other than looks and physical attractiveness, I will get a million different answers, but usually it sums up to a few key characteristics.

  • Talented

    • Well it’s a rather general term, and I don’t mean you have to be a distinguished pianist to earn this title.  It is perhaps a bit easier to look at this from the other side of the coin.  Can you be with someone who is talent-free?  Then you will realize that aside from beauty, talent also is in the eyes of the beholder.  Good.  Next time you want to complain about your lover, think of what talents he or she impresses you from the start, and ask yourself whether it is still there, or just that you have a forgetful mind.

  • Kindness

    • No this is not cliché, because there really are mean people out there.  I really don’t get why people choose to stay with partners who have been ill-treating them.  To me, kindness is not only to your partner but also to people around the two of you.  However, it seems that there are quite a number of abusive relationships out there for me to even begin talking about kindness to others.

  • Confidence

    • My friends who understand me know that this is my number one rule.  Self-confidence is super attractive, as long as you don’t step into cockiness.  Too many people have fallen into the latter probably due to insecurities again, but those who are confident and humble are a catch, if you know what I mean.  Confidence is the result as well as the enabler of a lot of these positive characteristics.

  • Trustworthy

    • A man needs to be trustworthy or he has no ability to take care of his partner or has the emotional strength to enter into a relationship.  Some says it’s the holy grail of one. 

  • Intelligence

    • This doesn’t necessarily come with age, and is quite an inborn gift.  Everything is relative, but most people would not want to be with somebody who is more stupid than himself or herself.  I guess no one will call themselves stupid in the first place, but I don’t think anyone will repute that intelligence is sexy.

  • Sense of Humor

    • I will focus on the humorous attitude towards life rather than the ability to crack jokes out of nowhere.  Life is too hard and reality is too cruel.  If we can all maintain a certain sense of humor and if our partner can motivate us to move on and recharge in his or her own witty ways, how sweet is that?

  • Money

    • Okay, this is way, way politically incorrect.  But I will be daring to put it out there in the open.  You know who you are, and I don’t need to explain anything further.

So what’s the point of writing this?  Well this is meant to motivate those singles or newly break-ups that everyone has a market somewhere, as long as we continue to work toward these “universal” attractive qualities gathered from so many guys and girls.  This is also written for those superficial people who check everyone off because they consider others ugly, old, short or “out of his/her reach”.  You time is coming!

Please excuse me for my playful mood tonight.  You can see my desperate attempt developing my wicked sense of humor.

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Feeling Lonely?

February 2, 2011 by corporateshopaholic

It seems that the biggest fear of most people in the city is feeling lonely.  The feeling is even more compelling when you know that you are in the middle of the most populated metropolitan cities of the world and yet you still feel alone.  That feeling is quite chilling indeed.  Singles are longing for relationships because they are sick and tired of being alone, and at the same time, couples split up because they feel alienated by their partners in various means.  Usually, the pain of being alone is the number one hurdle anyone needs to endure over a breakup or a divorce. 

According to relationship coach (!) Rinatta Paries, “One of the marks of maturing emotionally is learning to bear with or even thrive when alone.  And your successful ability to be alone is what allows you to have the best relationships of your life. The successful ability to be alone can mean the ability to feel alone and lonely without the need to seek someone out to fill the void.  It can also mean being alone but not being lonely, with the void filled with creativity of self-expression, or passion for pursuit of something that matters to you.”

It sounds really pathetic, cause we have always been taught that we should both take care and at the same time depend on each other in a meaningful relationship.  However it is somehow also this dependency that causes friction and mistrust between a couple, leading to an eventual breakup.  How disillusioning?

Well, the reality is that there is really no way around it.  We just have to be better at combating loneliness in life.   Seeing how others behave, I am advocating the following “Don’ts” in times of vulnerability:

  • Don’t pity yourself in emotional songs, movies, novels  or TV.  Some people tell me that they need a good cry, but I have the feeling that we already have enough material ourselves to make us cry our eyes out.  So wallowing in romantic tragedies only makes us fall deeper into our depression, which also makes it harder and longer to regain confidence in starting over.
  • Don’t resort to fortune-telling or tarot cards or the like.  I know it’s tempting to try to get some sensing out of all the broken pieces, but such baseless advice may prolong unsubstantiated pain or misery, over some “miracles” that could never happen.  Fate is in our own hands.
  • Don’t over occupy yourself.  Some people prefer to take up projects that will make themselves busy, be it taking up a new hobby, adopting a pet, or renovating their homes.  While there is nothing wrong with these constructive activities, rushing into things too soon may reinforce the reality of loneliness further.   Substituting intimacy with other human beings for a big project may pave a longer path of unhappiness.

So what are the “Dos?”

  • Talk to your friends that you trust.  Open yourself up with people and try to move a little closer emotionally to people you like.  Enough with the superficial chats.  Your friends can only be as close to you as you are with them.
  • Learn how to strike up meaningful conversations with new people.  Again, I’m not talking about the easy exchanges on what’s good to eat or meaningless gossips over other people.  Come on, aren’t these “friends” or acquaintances the reason you feel lonely in the first place?  It’s not the 798 friends on your Facebook profile page that makes your life fulfilling.
  • Surround yourself with the right crowd of friends.  Okay, I don’t mean to sound like an elitist, because there is no definition as to what the right crowd means to everyone.  I am told that the right sorts of people are those they give you energy instead of taking it away from you.  I like this definition because I think it’s very powerful.
  • Don’t demand sympathy.  Your true friends will surely take care of you, support you and encourage you without you even asking.  There is a difference between opening up yourself, asking for help, and being whinny and needy.

It certainly takes a great deal of courage and determination, but what doesn’t?

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Spending Spree Anyone?

February 1, 2011 by corporateshopaholic

So I was accompanying a friend who was in town for a few days.  We met for lunch and then went for a walk solely meant to kill time and lounge around casually.  This Friday afternoon was packed with customers shopping for the upcoming Chinese New Year, as well as the ever so aggressive mainland Chinese tourists who were fanatically running around name brand stores before closing time.  We couldn’t resist the wave, and so we joined in the crowds to do some window shopping ourselves.

Little did I expect that this was no window shopping at all.  My friend went to Bottega Veneta to check out the limited edition snakeskin duffle bag, and while I was answering a long distance call from my ex-colleague, he had picked out a silver / leather bracelet for himself.  We then headed to Yves Saint Laurent next door though my friend had already gotten the new black clutch bag the week ago.   At Paul Smith upstairs, he got a slim fitted check shirt, a pair of check pants, a colorful knit cardigan, and 10 pairs of Paul Smith signature socks. 

I was already exhausted from the crowds, so we had to sit down for tea at a nearby coffee shop.  After an hour of recharging over dessert and coffee, we moved on to I.T., the local fashion store that brings in a number of foreign designer brands goodies.  We spent literally three hours there where I was joined by one of the store sales associate friend of mine, dressing my friend up and offering our comments and advice.  He was walking back and forth, picking everything up and trying on everything.  No colors were off-limits.  He even went to the women’s section to look for items that matched his fair skin tone and slim waist line.  With enough commotion involving half a dozen other sales associates looking for sizes and colors, he left with 2 large bags of goodies, on top of what he already got earlier in the afternoon.

This is what I like doing on a lazy afternoon.  I got the rush of shopping without having the need to spend a penny myself.  I didn’t feel empty that I was not getting anything for myself, and I was psyched that my friend was happy with his achievement.   I enjoy shopping with people who know what they want, while at the same time open enough for experimentation.

I advocate being passionate in everything we do, whether it’s work, relationships, food, shopping, and friendships.  Being passionate means to devote your entire self in the moment of whatever you are doing in a responsible way, but without creating too much undue stress.  Some people, however, place judgements without knowing it.  “How does he get the money?”  “What does he need to proof?” “I bet he is a slob.”

Some people automatically jump on the dollar figure, but I’d rather place emphasis on the journey.  Getting something that truly fits you is worth celebrating even if it costs only ten dollars.  Getting something pricey solely on basis of the brand name is not my cup of tea.

Like this Friday for instance, if you believe you will enjoy a spending spree like my friend’s, give it a go.  You will have the time of your life looking for something you want.  However, if you know you will regret this apparent short-term therapy (for no apparent reason), stay away from it.  We can all co-exist, and there is always something for everyone.

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Self-Mockery (Part One)

January 31, 2011 by corporateshopaholic

If the above is what you are witnessing in your work place, call me, and send your colleagues the link of this blog. 

I will surely enjoy my chats with them.

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Stars of Tomorrow – by Helen Gilbert

January 28, 2011 by corporateshopaholic

No one should ever underestimate the criticality of employee recruitment and retention, and so is the procurement community.  The biggest reason I see people leaving a role in strategic sourcing, other than purely monetary attractions of another role, is job dissatisfaction.  In my early posts of this blog, I wrote quite a lot about the constant struggles, frustrations and challenges of our roles.  The procurement profession is undergoing a transition phase –  transitioning from a back-office operational function to a more strategic business consultative role.  However, if the leader is not in tune with the expectations of the company, or if he or she lacks the vision and stamina to put forward a compelling case in front of top management, there might be a high risk of losing good people.  Since we are advocating strong influencing capabilities and stakeholder management skills, new joiners will consume costly months of time to reestablish connections with business partners, usually not something the organization can afford often.  As I have said before, strategic procurement is a people business.  The deliverables and results of each project varies significantly by the strategies and personalities of the individual project leads.  No negotiations can be cloned.  Results are different in different counties and different time zones.   Unlike what we buy, staffing should never be commoditized.

I recently come across an excellent article on CPO Agenda titled Stars of Tomorrow, written by Helen Gilbert.  Selling the industry as a long-term career choice, is what she advocates.  If everyone thinks that stepping out of the profession is the only way to progress their careers, there is a big problem. 

Raising the awareness of the profession is critical in recruiting and retaining talent.  I wish that I am modestly playing my part in this space.

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The 5 Stages of Grief

January 27, 2011 by corporateshopaholic

Many people have heard about the 5 stages of the grieving process.  Maybe it’s a lucky thing that I wasn’t aware of it until a year ago when a good friend of mine introduced me to this.  With so much unwanted despair around our personal lives and from what we read on the news, I am revisiting this as well as sharing with my loved ones, all with the intention to look at the light at the end of the tunnel, in this upcoming new year.

Regardless of the nature of the loss it might be, every one of us mourns differently.  According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, there are 5 common stages of grief a person goes through when mourning.  One has to note that we may not necessarily experience these stages in one fluid order.  We may actually go back a stage at one time, or go through some of the stages more than once.  Why?  Because there are triggering incidences everywhere.  It may be another friend’s stories, movies or TVs programs, or finding an old greeting card or an item of clothing stashed somewhere, unexpectedly.

  • Denial

No, this is not me.  It is not happening.  He/she will change his/her mind.  No one is dead, I am expecting him/her to walk through the door anytime soon.

  • Anger / Resentment

Why me?  Why did you do it?  Why are you deliberately hurting me?

  • Bargaining

If I do this, you will do that.  If you’ll stay, I will change.  If you bring him/her back God, I will be a better person.

  • Depression

It’s really happened.  Nothing is going to change.  Acknowledgement brings deep depression.  Often a quiet, withdrawn time.

  • Acceptance

This is what happened.  You can now begin to move forward. 

Speaking from experience, my advice is to really take the much-needed time to go through all 5 of the above stages.  There is no need to rush.  Someone who jumps right into acceptance the next day after a breakup or a loss in the family is only kidding himself or herself.  If we tell ourselves that it is okay to feel unhappy, lost, mad and disillusioned, it will help.  At times of despair, I seriously don’t think one needs to pretend he is a hero.

What my friends told me is so true.  Always, always take care of your own feelings.  Nurture yourself spiritually, emotionally, and physically.  No one else can do it but you.  Eat healthy, exercise and let yourself take time to grieve.  Needless to say, share with your trusted friends and advisers.  Showing signs of vulnerability is the strongest character building ritual everyone should go through, once in a while.

 

 

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The Joy of Laziness

January 26, 2011 by corporateshopaholic

Turns out I don’t need this book to know how to slow down and live longer.  When I buy books I usually keep the cashier’s receipt out of habit.  Tonight when I picked out this unread book from my bookshelf, I shockingly discovered that I bought it in March 2005 – almost 6 years ago!  I am too lazy to read a book I purchased that talks about the joy and benefits of laziness!

The book is an easy read.  The authors Dr. Peter Axt and Dr. Michaela Axt-Gadermann finds a solution to combat our daily demands on our energy, which is hurry, frustration, sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, work stress etc..  To feel good we engage in intensive fitness regimes, competitive sports, and radical diets.  These activities actually take a toll on our health, accelerating the ageing process, making us more susceptible to illness, and shortening our lives.   What’s the solution? Laziness.

According to scientific research, the authors list out actions that have a positive effect on our health indicators.  Namely:

  • Moderation in eating (weight, blood pressure, blood sugar, blood cholesterol, uric acid)
  • Relaxation and calmness (blood pressure, blood sugar, antibodies, stress-hormone levels)
  • Moderate exercise (weight, stress-hormone levels, blood pressure, antibodies)
  • Warmth and sunlight (blood sugar level, blood pressure, weight)
  • Sufficient sleep (cortisol level, antibodies, blood sugar level)

The authors talk about conserving energy by doing nothing.  Eating less will make us live longer because food costs us energy.  In fact, fasting delays the ageing process and lengthens life.  Relaxing makes us more intelligent.  Laughter is the number one stress fighter.   And we all know that lack of sleep makes us old, stupid, cranky, ill, and fat, so the authors believe that we can all become younger in our sleep, since it affects body temperature, stress level, and metabolism.

It surely doesn’t sound like anything you haven’t heard of before, but think about it, if we can all learn how to manage our stress level  by being more relaxed and composed, that is already a big step towards a younger looking and longer life!

I recommend this book to my ex-colleagues and bosses, for reasons known only to themselves.

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