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Posts Tagged ‘etiquette’

Charming

This colloquial phrase is widely used, perhaps not always in the most flattering way.  You charm someone’s socks off in getting them to do things your way, or you are in need of a favor.  If you successfully charmed someone in a date or hanging out with someone over time, congratulations for a job well done.

That brings to the obvious question which has been bugging me for some time.  What is charming?  I’m told it clearly isn’t just about outlook and appearances, but having a magnetic and chiseled face does not hurt (as always).  It’s the personality, the aura, the demeanor, and most importantly, the substance.  Yes, these are all very open and vague descriptions, but as I’m told, that is exactly why a charming person is so not easy to find.

I’m sure there is no one definition, as charming means different things to different people.  I have come across an article online which lists out the 11 ways to be charming.  Obviously, I’m sure there are hundreds more ideas or criteria in your own minds, but it never hurts to get inspired by the list, before making your own conclusion.

How To Be Charming

  1. Be genuinely interested in people.
  2. Remember people’s names when you meet them for the first time.
  3. Assume rapport
  4. Smile with your eyes
  5. Take into account topics that interest those around you, even if you’re not so keen on them
  6. Control your tone of voice
  7. Watch the way you phrase things
  8. Issue compliments generously; this especially raises others’ self esteem
  9. Be gracious in accepting compliments
  10. Praise others instead of gossiping
  11. Sometimes being charming is about simply being a good listener

For the full narrative including additional tips, check out this link.

One word of advice however, when you decide to charm someone else’s socks off, be prepared of the consequences (provided you have done a good job of it).  That could be the subject of another blog post in the making.

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Is asking this question a sign of ageing?  I hope not, as the targets I studied aren’t only the Generation X and Ys, but also people of my age or above.  I just cannot get over ladies dragging their ankles walking around the office floor with disturbing clunking noises (don’t mistake that with heels please), people chewing their food loudly like cows next to me, commuters screaming into their cellphones on the top of their lungs yapping about meaningless gossips, or professional athelete-type passengers who compete for a new Olympic Games category of jumping into occupied elevators or subway cars, holding the poor exiting souls hostage.

If you think we can just be chilled over all this nonsense and smirk over it, look me in the eyes and tell me you aren’t shocked and disturbed by the well suited man who jumped into the subway seat one second before you even had the chance to offer it to an elderly woman.

It’s not like we are at war times.  Most of us live in adequately provided environments and more often than not, nobody really owes us anything.  I don’t get how parents will inflict this upon their kids by encouraging them to be selfish, misbehaving snobs.  Alright, it’s probably because the parents themselves are like that, at work and at play. 

For me how a person carries himself or herself speaks a lot about their character.  Maybe I shouldn’t, but I do count people out by the negative traits I observe, and I don’t think I am alone.  To me, I cannot entrust them in anything if I feel that they do not even respect themselves. 

If you can think of a constructive way to steer the city back to the right direction, do let me know.  It will be a cause that I will stand proudly behind.  For now, I am doing my small part in my own professional space, so that I can sleep better at nights.

I wish. 

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