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Archive for July, 2011

Some Facebook apps have certainly gone out of hand.  Lingering over someone else’s Facebook page is perhaps an unspoken reality for many, but installing an app to push people’s relationship status updates to you is borderline stalkerish.   Continuing on from my earlier post on No To Facebook Depression, digital morality seems to be hitting a new low with new app developers.

The tagline of the app Breakup Notifier reads:

“You like someone.  They’re in a relationship.  Be the first to know when they’re out of it.”

 

The tagline of the app Crush Notifier reads:

“You like someone.  They like you back.  Get crushed.”

Apparently when Breakup Notifier was launched in February this year, more than 3 million users flocked to the tool almost overnight.  While the demand kept rising by the day, it was confirmed shortly and officially that Facebook broke up with the Breakup Notifier.  According to the Washington Post, “…the affair was short-lived”.

And if this hasn’t creeped you out enough, shortly after Breakup Notifier folded, a new app Waiting Room came to the rescue by offering former Breakup Notifier users upgraded stalkerish efficiency.

The tagline of the app Waiting Room reads:

“Wish a friend was single?  Anonymously enter a friend’s WaitingRoom and give them a hint that they have options.  WaitingRoom will give you the confidence to become single again — if that’s what you really want.”

According to Mashable.com, “Not only will the Facebook app notify you when the person you’re pining after relieves himself or herself from a relationship, but it will also help you anonymously encourage that breakup.  Here’s how it works: When you indicate interest in an unavailable Facebook friend, that person gets an e-mail notification that there is someone in his or her “WaitingRoom” (this person need not have the app installed at this point). The identity of the admirer isn’t revealed until the recipient has changed his or her Facebook status to single.”

What has our world come to these days?  Should we get into caves to safeguard our already fragile relationships from being further sabotaged? 

On the other hand, supporters’ rebuttal is likely to be: “If recruiters can use business networking portals like LinkedIn to poach us from leaving our current employers onto hotter, fancier alternatives, why couldn’t we do it on Facebook for our lifetime happiness?”

Sick logic it is, I have to say.

 

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Vault.com has a recent blog article titled “How Not To Sound Like A Liar At Work“, describing how people generally are put off with hollow business jargons.  Not only that, most of us actually think whoever using those phrases are lying to our faces.  The article includes a few commonly used business jargons and their respective underlying meanings.  Here are a few examples:

Business-speak: “Deep dive

What people who aren’t liars say: “Instead of doing our usual half-assed job, we took the time to investigate properly.”

Business-speak: “Circle back

What people who aren’t liars say: “We’ll discuss this again – ideally when we actually know something about it.”

Business-speak: “Deliverables

What people who aren’t liars say: “Mundane tasks I am responsible for completing.”

Business-speak: “Let’s take this offline

What people who aren’t liars say: “Let’s talk about this after the meeting, so we don’t embarrass ourselves in front of the boss/waste everyone else’s time.”

I bet none of the above business talks are new to you, regardless of what you do.  You see it at work, and you hear about it all the time in politics and virtually any news outbreak on TV.

What I find hilarious and fascinating is the website “Unsuck It“, dedicated to “unsuck” the terrible business jargons you come across with.  Basically, you type in the jargon and you are presented with the unsucked version.  Brilliant.  Here are a few of my best finds.

Innovative

Unsucked: New, Slightly improved, Shiny

All-hands

Unsucked: Staff meeting

As soon as possible

Unsucked: In an unreasonable amount of time.  Quickly

Challenge

Unsucked: Problem

Elevator pitch

Unsucked: Brief, persuasive summary. Particularly one tailored to an influential audience trapped with the speaker in a small, windowless box suspended from a cable with no obvious escape route  (p.s. check out my post on Elevator Speech)

Empower

Unsucked:   Assign a menial or unpleasant responsibility to someone, particularly to a low-status individual or group  (Ouch…)

Paradigm shift

Unsucked:  A new, crappy reality to which employees or customers must accommodate themselves. Change in basic assumptions or a profound shift in perception. Possibly the most overused, diluted, otherwise useful and descriptive phrase

I hear what you’re saying

Unsucked:  LA LA LA LA LA I can’t hear you

Interject

Unsucked: Interrupt whatever you’re saying to show you I was raised by wolves

Knowledge transfer

Unsucked:  Sharing relevant experience throughout an organization. Bitching about office politics over drinks. Getting old-timers to divulge useful information before you lay them off for being too expensive

Outside the box

Unsucked:  Unconventional.  But in a way that won’t challenge anyone or get me fired.  Also, I’m too lazy to think of useful descriptors

Pencil in

Unsucked:  Schedule, with the understanding that you are going to flake at the last minute in favor of someone more important

Rightsizing

Unsucked:  Chicken shit for firing

Wow factor

Uncuked:  I don’t know what I want, but it’s not what I’m looking at.  Tart it up!

If you can think of more, send them to me as I can use a laugh every now and then, especially at work! 

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Half of 2011 is gone before we knew it.  If the world is indeed going to end by December 21, 2012, we have less than a year and a half left.  What will you do if you only have that little time left?

I don’t think I can ever declare that I am living my life with no regrets, but at least I am consciously yearning to lead that attitude towards life.  When you want to spend more time with your parents and your family, do it.   When you want to tell someone “I love you!”, do it.  When you want to say you’re sorry to someone you’re wronged, do it while you have a chance.

Whatever big hurdles you are going through now, chances are you will find them dismissable or even petty a year from now.  So if we can demonstrate more compassion to others or even ourselves throughout this journey, is it really that unthinkable?

If we can follow our hearts, be vulnerable and let down our self-protection mechanism, the world could be a much better place.  At the very least, I know I will lead a meaningful and fulfilling life.

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