Confessions of a Corporate Shopaholic

I cannot resist the temptation to post this up and I don’t think this needs any more elaboration on my part.  Some people just don’t realize how naked they are of their insecurities in front of colleagues, friends and even family members.  Please, don’t live in your own little bubbles.  Allow me to vent a little bit here, but consistent to my belief, I never leave criticisms alone without some recommendations.  This time around, they come from Michael Bucci of AskMen.com.  The last paragraph sums all of this up well.

“Learn How To Brag Discreetly

By Michael Bucci

So here you are, sitting at the bar of a trendy restaurant lounge, enjoying a fine drink with a few of your friends. You are easing into the night and having a merry time doing so. You will soon be meeting some associates and lady friends for an evening out on the town.

It’s A Pleasure To Meet You

I’ve already discussed the importance of making a good first impression, but just as a reminder, know that people will form an impression of you within the first few minutes of contact. More likely than not, the impression they get will be reinforced over the next few hours.

Suppose you are talking to an attractive woman that is to your liking, or perhaps you are talking to a potential friend or business associate, how can you get the point that you are successful (or at least on the ball and soon to be successful) across?

What To Avoid

You are doing well for yourself; you’re a junior partner at a prosperous law firm. You’re on the fast track and you want people to know this, so you buy yourself a big diamond ring and tell anyone who’s willing to listen about how great your new Mercedes SLK-500 is and how much you prefer it over the BMW 740i or the Lexus. You also go out of your way to specify that anyone not driving such an expensive car is a big loser that is worth less than a bag of cheap fertilizer.

So what have you just achieved? Sure, everyone present will know you are making some green and are climbing the corporate ladder, but they will also hate your guts for being such a braggart. You’ll alienate everyone there, not to mention make a few enemies in the process. Not exactly the desired effect.

By following some simple tips, you’ll have a heads up on the competition and still keep your modesty intact.

Don’t Flaunt It

The old expression, “If you got it, flaunt it,” does not apply in this case. In fact, it rarely applies in any case. The last thing you want to do is come off sounding like a constant bragger. You don’t have to make it known that you drive a Ferrari by telling people directly. Instead, you can discuss cars in general with others and wait for them to ask what you drive.

When you tell them you drive a Beemer, say it matter-of-factly. Don’t add more details unless they ask you the questions. The trick is not to sound like you’re bragging, and don’t purposely make the other person feel small because they don’t drive a fancy car.

This way, they’ll know you drive a nice car and they will respect the fact that you don’t attach this to your ego too much (even if they attach a lot of meaning to what you drive).

The same goes for your clothing. You can wear classy tailor-made suits and Brioni shirts, but there’s no need to announce it to the world. People will notice you are well dressed, more so than the average man, and they will make a mental note of it. Just because they don’t comment, that doesn’t mean they don’t notice.

So how do you appear super successful and stay humble?

1. Never say how much you earn

Maybe you are knocking down $500,000 a year, but you should not make a point of telling everyone you meet what your take-home is. If people ask (which is impolite to begin with), just smile and say you do well for yourself and you are very happy with how things have turned out. Don’t offer more detail; to do so is somewhat crass.

2. Compliment others

A good way to brag discreetly is to compliment others on their clothes, car, jobs, etc. By doing so, it makes you seem like a nice guy for noticing other people, and they will in turn be flattered by the attention. Furthermore, they will likely compare themselves with you on the very things you are complimenting them on.

For example, if you tell Bob that’s he’s got a nice car (slick, fast, tears up the road, etc.) he’ll be proud of his car. He will immediately wonder what you drive. If you are driving a similar or better car, he will automatically raise you to his level, if not higher. Objective achieved: you bragged discreetly and so did he.

3. Just the facts ma’am

The worst thing you can do is embellish everything you say. People will catch on that you’re all about hype over substance rather quickly. Instead of telling long stories about how you single-handedly slayed the giant dragon, opt to emphasize the hard work and team effort that went into achieving the goal.

Mention that you are only part of the team and stick to facts. If it is a fact, then no one can argue or hold it against you. If you closed the big deal, then you will be recognized for your accomplishment, even if you give credit to others. The point is to avoid hogging all the glory or you will make enemies — a lot of them.

4. Your crew

Who better to sing your praises than your friends? This one is simple; just have your friends chime in once in a while with some tidbit about you that you can’t mention because it would be bragging. They can praise you and get away with it, so long as you act modestly about the thing in question and don’t talk about it much, if at all.

5. Never sound pretentious

There are geniuses in this world, and they do things with ease that amaze most mortals. However, no one will hold this against them unless they are pretentious about their achievements. Never make your success sound like it was a walk in the park. You don’t have to tell people it was the hardest thing in the world, but never make things sound too easy or people will resent you for thinking you’re better than everyone else.

Make it sound like they could have accomplished the same thing as you; this will reassure them of their abilities and they won’t feel threatened by you. Internally, they’ll probably admit to themselves that they would not have been able to succeed as you did, but as long as only they know this fact, they’ll be saving face.

Remember, you can be better than everyone else. In fact, you can even know that you are better; just never say so out loud and you’ll do great. So go out there and be modest, downplay your achievements and learn to brag discreetly. Once you get good at this, you’ll realize that this is the way the game has been played all along.”