I don’t believe in that “Boys Don’t Cry” crap. Well, as long as you are not like John Boehner, Speaker of the House of Representatives who cries over not only on his rise from humble beginnings as a janitor, to talking about his hopes for children, winning the election, and even debating over bills with the opposite party. That’s probably a bit much, even for me.
I believe in internal strength rather than the ability to hold back pain and tears. It takes more of a man to own up responsibilities, fights for what he believes in, carries through to the end and even admitting defeat. If you can’t do any of this, you won’t earn my respect even if you are a macho cowboy on the outside.
I think I inherited my sensitive side from my mother. Back when I was small I could see my mother tearing up softly over some stupid local soap operas on TV. I would chuckle over it because I always thought the plots were lame and intentionally sentimental even at my age. Then one time my parents took me and my elder sister to go to see the 1982 hit movie E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial. I was excited to see a sci-fi movie with tons of cool graphics and special effects, and all the marketing programs in town were hard to miss. I do not recall much of the plot now (other than being reminded on every E! feature of Drew Barrymore), except that I cried my eyes out by the end of the movie. My parents had to console me walking out of the movie theatre.
Then the next crying moment was a much more serious matter, and it was the June 4th Beijing massacre in 1989. I was watching the Hong Kong TV news program with tears when millions of otherwise politically immune HK citizens went to the streets to protest against the Chinese government, shortly after seeing what happened in Beijing. I cried over the unity of the people from all levels. I cried over how helpless we were at the moment.
Fast forwarding 11 years later, Korean soap operas were starting to create a sensation in Hong Kong, which had been largely dominated by the Japanese for those who were not content with local TV programing. I never found myself having the patience to sit through 18 to 24 episodes of a soap opera series, so when I learned that there was a 2-hour director’s cut version of the year’s (2000) hottest soap opera Endless Love, I grabbed a copy to see what the big fuss was about. I didn’t see it coming. Yes the plot was super lame and cheesy, and the characters were unreal. Though there was something about the characters crying on set for over 90% of the show, coupled with emotional soundtrack and poetic scripts, that caused me a panic attack. I told my colleagues about it the next day at work, and everyone were eager to get the DVD from me. For the next few weeks, all I saw were colleagues with red swollen eyes showing up at work in the morning.
The sad thing is that Korean soap operas somehow failed to innovate over the years. So after 4 dozens of story lines about babies being switched at birth, handicapped girlfriends with blood cancer, kids being abused and harassed by school teachers, and grandparents donating their organs for their kids, our senses have become numb once again.
Ang Lee’s Brokeback Mountain was another all-time hit in Hong Kong in 2005, though for some reason I couldn’t see it at the movie theatre when it opened. The extremely moving ending brought me to tears for a good half hour. Thank goodness I was at home with an abundance supply of tissue paper.
The critically acclaimed 2010 local production Echoes of The Rainbow, directed by Alex Law, was a movie that resonates with many of us in terms of how we grew up and how we were raised. I cried because it brought back memories of my time with my parents and sister when I grew up. The movie was also shot in Sheung Wan which was within a block away from my childhood home. If I bring back a DVD to my parents’ place, I’m sure there wouldn’t be a dry eye in the family.
Crying because of immense emotions, reflections or gratitude is a natural outlet, as long as it’s done in a controlled manner. It’s only those crying out of fear or with an attempt to deflect blame that should be despised. Mr. John Boehner? I think he needs to pick his moments more carefully.
Confessions of a Corporate Shopaholic 